I had a conversation with my friend today and he said one of the wisest things I’ve heard in years. “We’re all at a point in our lives where we need to set some hard limits with ourselves when it comes to how much we are willing to go through with another person.” He continued on talking about how being forgiving once, twice is one thing but sometimes there comes a time when you need to notice the other person’s behaviour and set the limit for yourself.
I suppose his words came right at the perfectly aligned time as I was going to write up this post.
WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONE IS ACTING LIKE AN ASSHOLE
Step 1. Remember that we are sometimes the asshole.
Who, me? YES, you…and even me. (Shocking I know, just kidding..these are the jokes) Sometimes we know we are doing it sometimes we don’t realize it. Regardless, remember that we are sometimes the asshole, and how would we want someone to deal with us when the shoe is on the other foot?
The metaphysical text A Course in Miracles tells us that everyone does things for 2 reasons and 2 reasons only; either as an expression of love or a cry for love. That person acting like a jackass in that moment, is simply crying for love, either they feel not good enough, not wanted, hurt, etc and it comes out in this way. Remember that they are healing a wound and we are too or else we wouldn’t get triggered by them and their acting like an asshole. Getting triggered by their behaviour only shows us that we still have more healing to do or else it wouldn’t even affect us.
Which leads me to the next point….
2. Step 2: Flip the script.
Don’t focus on the behaviour itself. Ask the universe, “how can this serve me?” Say thank you for the opportunity to practice the skill of being a master of myself. Nobody is in control of your emotions but you. Nobody is responsible for your emotions but you.
The universe wants to support you. Each time someone pushes your buttons, the universe is giving you a chance to heal. Even if you can’t feel it in the moment, literally say “thank you for the opportunity to practice being a master of my own self.” Imagine reaching a point where nothing anyone says or does can touch you in the least. How powerful is that? You are powerful.
Repeat: “Thank you for the opportunity to practice being a master of my self. I am so powerful.”
Now watch as you practice this there will be asshole encounters thrown your way. It’s like the universe is saying ok let’s exercise this muscle so it gets really strong. Once we truly learn the lesson the situation will start to disappear…until we do it will continue to reappear in many forms/by using many people as opportunities for us to learn. But remember, it isn’t an attack on you, it’s the other person’s cry for love and it’s an opportunity for you to exercise and strengthen your power.
You are so powerful. I honour you and your journey.
Dr.Nadia Rizzo, ND